I love the Nestlé NESQUIK chocolate bunny as much as the next person, but when I need a healthy alternative I really like Ovaltine. Call me an old woman, but Ovaltine is much kinder on my figure. Fewer cals, just as good of taste as chocolate milk. Ovaltine is actually the perfect post workout recovery drink, and since we are trying to abstain from debauchery during the week it makes a lovely evening treat.
When we went to the store a few weeks back I asked Andrew to grab some Ovaltine. He spent like nine hours in the cocoa aisle like he had never seen it before and comes back with this:
1. Unless it’s McMoon or a product for infants I want nothing to do with a moon on my product. 2. Horlicks, um did they run out of words and invent one that would surely turn people away? It makes the name “Ovaltine” sound like marketing gold. 3. Where the frack was the Ovaltine?
Horlicks light Malt Chocolate is said to be, “the traditional malty hot drink to help you sleep.” Watching a grown man heat up milk on the stove, pour it into a thick powdery substance is an awful experience. And to top it off, it tastes like the milk you get after a big bowl of sugary cereal. Moo moo juice fail.
Last night, I watched this Horlick preparation for the last time. I was so ticked that this island has no Ovaltine, I even Tweeted about it. I told Andrew about my Twitter conversation with the people at Ovaltine, assuring me it’s here. To which he replied, “Yea, it was next to the Horlicks.” Pause. Recover. You fathead. I almost sent him back out right then.
The following events occured between the hours of 23:00 and 24:00 on Thursday, Oct 27 —
Me: Horlicks the horrible.
Andrew: Could they not think of a more worse name than Horlicks?
Me: Horriblelicks. But it obviously wasn’t a bad enough name to stop you from buying it.
Andrew: There was no malt. I knew I was screwed when the package said, “Step 1: heat milk.”
Andrew: It looked good. They said malty.
Me: It looked like it is for babies. And it’s not like it wasn’t RIGHT next to the Ovaltine.
I was crying I was laughing so hard.
So, what did you do last night? I anticipate a marketing letter from Horlicks, so to save the trouble: It wasn’t that bad. I am just an Ovaltine, easy to make, tastes great, kind of gal.