He Says – He Means

I would like to thank my husband. He’s put up with this bag o’ crazy for almost 9 months.

Says: Trust me, the name is perfect.
Means: For the love of all that is holy, quit looking at baby name books and message boards, or we’ll call him Junior.

Says: It’s OK I’ll run out to the store later.
Means: I wrote you a grocery list and called while you were at the store. How did you forget?

Says: I’ll buy you as many diapers as you want.
Means: What the h*ll will it take to make you quit looking at that to-do list?

Says: I’m so sorry that you’re not comfortable.
Means: Hello, you’re pregnant. We know. You’re in pain. Move on.

Says: How old does a baby have to be to go hiking?
Means: I’m ready for this kid to be my playmate.

Says: Look at that belly.
Means: Sweet mother, it gets bigger every day.

Says: Let’s get some new cookbooks.
Means: Since we won’t be dining out, better get you on the cooking front.

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