How To Make Proper English Tea

I like my coffee black. I hate sweeteners in my coffee or tea. I think coffee should be strong, and it should put hair on the chest. When I was asked to make tea for my English mates, I tightened up. Sure I know how to “make tea,” but making it proper is a whole other story. I brew you not…

Thankfully I received a proper lesson on making English tea. (clearing throat)

1. Get the water boiling hot. (Yes, Captain Obvious.)
2. Add the hot water to ye ol cup o tea.
3. Sing the Happy Birthday song whilst your tea bag brews. (seems to be about enough time)
4. Add milk. [Pay attention.] The tea should be a vanillay-caramel colour. If you think you’ve added a touch too much milk, it’s probably just the right amount.
5. Scoop the tea bag out of the cup and squish it against the side to get out the last bit of tea.
6. Taste test. Drumroll. Boston Tea Party.

You laugh, but it’s serious business over here. And before you say, “Yuck, milk,” you’ll find it cuts the bittnerness of the tea. Thank me later.

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4 comments

  1. great blog! Taking English tea to new lands. although some may argue you need to sing the happy birthday song twice. Three times if your making tea in Yorkshire. Take a look at our blog for all things related to tea and British food!

  2. billy is so serious about his tea-making skills since living in London for a couple of years. he’s very specific about taking the proper steps! πŸ™‚


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