Betty Crocker – Time To Get Your Visa, Girlfriend

I feel like a soccer mom. I had the dumb dumb dumb big idea to bake holiday cookies for Andrew to take to work for his coworkers. In my head I’m hearing praises about what an amazing wife I am, how lucky Andrew must be.

Insert reality check.

I made my list, checked it twice and headed off to the “big” grocery store. The one I have to drive to, not walk. Serious shopping requires extreme measures. I was armed with a list to make Heath Bar Cake, Andes Mints Brownies, Thumbprint Cookies and Peanut Butter Blossoms. I was a one woman baking army.

To give the best visual to those back home, I walked down the “baking aisle” and did my best to look for simple items. Names like “Heath” and “Andes Mints” should give you a hint as to where this is going. I knew that there had to be some UK candy equivalent and found Dime bars, a direct Heath bar replica. Andes Mints, I wasn’t so lucky guessing on. I found the closest thing that looked to be Andes’ European cousin.

Finding brownie batter, no probs. Finding vanilla cake batter, not so much. You would have thought I was looking for some exotic cake batter. All I wanted, Betty Crocker, was the basic cake mix. The very cake mix that other cake mixes are based off of. Instead I’m eyeing Fairy cake mix and marble cake mix. What the what.

Which leads me to my “powdered sugar” debacle. It’s powdered. It’s sugar. What’s the problem?

Me to grocery lady: Do you have powered sugar?
Grocery lady to me: Oh, that must be one of your American “things.”
(me mentally smacking her in my mind like 3 times)
Me to grocery lady: Really? What gave me away? It’s white and powdery. You sprinkle it on stuff.
Grocery lady to me: (BIG light bulb goes off) Ohhh, you want icing sugar.

I’m not trying to choose sides, but which country’s description is better?

Good thing I’m making Thumbprint and Peanut Butter cookies from scratch. As for the Hershey Kiss blossoms in my PB cookies, the store had Cookies & Cream Hershey Kisses, but not the regular good old fashioned milk chocolate Hershey Kiss. Really? I ended up buying Cadbury Buttons, since people here call US chocolate “vomit chocolate” anyway.

Listen here UK baking society, I’m on to you. You can try to fool me with your Fahrenheit to Celsius, icing sugar, mincemeat (that’s not even meat!) and fairy mixes, but I’m going to be baking this holiday. I’m going to bake enough that Sandra Lee blushes, Santa is too stuffed to go back up the chimney…I’m a Betty Crocker baking ninja, move over Doughboy.

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