Public Enemies

Yesterday’s post a bit heavy? How about we lighten the mood with a tutorial on etiquette. I’m not talking southern proper, more like simple things not to do in public.

1. Let any gas escape from your body. Out the front or the back, you’re grossing me out.
2. Chew with that trap open. Were you raised in a barn? Sure fooled me.
3. Wear leggings as pants. I repeat, leggings are NOT pants. End of discussion.
4. Hog empty seats for your pals on crowded trains. We all know that invisible friend isn’t coming back.
5. iPhone scroll, Blackberry type, head-into-phone whilst walking. Seriously, look up and you might notice the person you’re about to smack into.
6. Pick anything on your body. Take to a side-street pal. [shudder]
7. Let the music come out of your headphones. We see you with your headphones rocking out, thinking you’re polite because it’s quiet. When really your crap music is so loud you might as well start singing. Your ears will thank you later, I promise.
8. Cut in queue. Seriously, the “what do scissors do” line never ever works. You’re a human being, we see you cut. Get a little patience and back it up.
9. Park outside the lines. When you get out of your car, take a look. Pretty simple to see you’re either in the space or not.
10. Snog for hours. We had a teenage romp right outside our place that lasted an epic 2 hours. PDA never hurt anyone, but please give it a rest after a few minutes. Otherwise, I’m forced to stare and point making you as uncomfortable as you’ve left me.

I’m sure I’ve forgotten something. What’s on your, “Hey, not in public,” list?



  1. You know you’ve been in the UK two months when: you use the word “Snog”.

    Are you speaking with an accent?! Hah, love this.

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